Converted – Chapter 2

On April 3rd 2013 I booked a flight for myself and my son Nicholas to head to London England we planned to stay two weeks and Lisa had promised to show us all the London sights.
This would not be my first trip to England it would be my 3rd time actually but my very first time in London and I was extremely excited! Remember I have “the list”.
It would be Nicholas’s first time ever out of the country and I was excited to be able to be doing this with him.

As each day got closer I became more and more excited. I was not sure what was more exciting though, going back to England and meeting new friends, going to a movie premier or meeting celebrities.
Each of the prospects seemed to amazing and I hoped by the time I got there I didn’t burst with over excitement and scare the crap out of my new girlfriends.

We would land in London on June 10th, Three days before the Man Of Steel London premier.
Lisa would pick us up at the airport and we would be bunking down with her and her family.
I would not get to meet Prudence and the other girls till the day of the premier as we would all meet up in London and get in line as a group.

Of course with each passing week my inbox on facebook was filled with photos of Henry Cavill with little captions like “He’s waiting for you!” and “Step away from the dark side and come to the light”
I had to chuckle at the attention they gave him and how they wanted me to love him as bad as they did.
I did see the appeal but I was not yet ready to really commit to the fandom.

The final week before I left for England felt like the longest most stressful week of my life.
Anything and everything that could go wrong was going wrong.
I had a trainer quit at the gym last minute so I had to go into over drive to figure out a replacement till I could return and hire someone full time.
We would also be down another trainer as I would not be there for my clients.
My ex decided to throw a fit over me taking our son out of the country. He feared I would not return and I had to one tell him he was an idiot and two I had no intentions of keeping our son away from him.
I’d received a call from my credit card company telling me they were placing my card on hold as there had been some suspicious activity on it at which point I had to tell them it was in fact me who’d made the purchases. They finally agreed to take the hold off but not till the day I was flying out.
One of my dogs became ill and I had to rush him to the vets to be put on medication.
If I was being tested it was full throttle testing!

Finally the night before we were to leave I had everything settled.
I breathed a sigh of relief and looked over to Nicholas whom I was just about to put to bed “You excited to take the plane tomorrow bud?”
“Yep! We go on the plane up in the sky and we fly.”
“Yes we’re going to fly, Who else flies in the sky?”
I loved how he couldn’t say Superman it was a cute thing that I think only a mother could really appreciate and love.

That morning we caught our cab to the airport and got ready to head off to England.
The wait to board the plane was two hours and Nicholas became very impatient very quickly.
I worried that the seven hour flight would drive him completely bonkers and also hoped he would pass out for the better part of it.
I also worried he may disrupt other passengers with his squeals and screams.
He’d just turned two and he was in this phase of high pitched squeals that were nearly deafening.
I prayed no one would be rude if he were to have a mini or full melt down.

The flight went off without a hitch, Nicholas fell asleep an hour into the flight and slept for four hours of it so I only had to keep him occupied for two hours and he had a lot of fun looking out the window at the clouds. He did occasionally get loud but not so much as to bother any of the other passengers.
As we collected our luggage and headed to security I felt a peace wash over me. It had been so long since I had stepped foot on English soil and it was so nice to be back. I had always planned to move to England but sadly all those plans had fallen through. There was just something about this country that called to me and I felt more at home than anywhere else in the world.
Checking through security I was asked “Business or pleasure?”
“Vacation.” I responded “Visiting friends and going to the Superman premier” I smiled.
“Oh Superman fan are we?”
“You got that!” I said with a chuckle.
“Well enjoy your stay in London, You too little guy.”
I smiled and we walked to the lobby where I quickly spotted Lisa who was with 3 of her 4 children.
A huge grin came over her face as they all began to wave.
Nicholas became very excited and screams “Auntie Lisa!” he wriggled free from my hand and ran towards her.
She scooped him up and gave him the biggest hug and kiss.
Lisa’s kids all hugged Nicholas as well and yet again I had the sense of peace.
When I walked up to her she grabbed me and hugged me “Twinnie!” she said.
She’d given me the nickname a few months back when we realized just how much alike we were, it was almost as if we were twins.
I hugged her back and thanked her for allowing Nicholas and myself to stay with her and the family.
“We’d have it no other way!” She said.

Over the next two days we set out on adventures with the kids that I’d never thought I’d have shown Nicholas and he was having the time of his life.
Lisa’s kids were having a kick showing Nicholas around and getting him involved with all their activities.
Lisa lived on a huge piece of land and the views were just amazing.
We’d sit on the deck and watch the kids play while sipping tea and myself enjoying the gorgeous views on every corner.

The day of the premier Lisa got some of her good friends to look after our whole crew as we set off for London to get in the line for Man Of Steel.
Suddenly I found myself extremely excited!
Lisa like many others that day had opted to wear her Superman shirt.
Being that I like to be a little different I decided to go full on Wonder Women.
I was wearing my super tight Wonder Women tank top and blue jeans with my Wonder Women flip flops. I also had on my Wonder Women bracelets that looked like her gauntlets one have a chain link right with WW as the symbol on my middle finger.
I’d also decided to wear my hair up in a faux hawk and I was glad I did as it began to rain something awful at which point I busted into song “It’s raining men, hallelujah it’s raining men!”
I had sang so loud the crowd began to laugh as I took a bow.

Lisa knew some of the security and we got lucky and were placed right near the front where each celebrity would exit their vehicles.
We’d arrived early and it didn’t take us long to go a little bonkers.
Between the rain and being pushed by other fans Lisa and I decided we had to do something to lighten the mood before we went completely nuts.
I thought a sing song was in order and began to sing “Give me one reason” by Tracy Chapman.
I’ve been known to not really need a mic when I sing as I can quite loud all on my own so it didn’t take long to grab the attention of other members of the crowd and soon after that I got a few to chime in and sing with me.

There was a fella behind me that when he screamed it was so school girl like I turned each time with an astonished look on my face.
He proceeded to look at me as though I was crazy then would shriek again.
I looked to Lisa and Prudence and we all just busted a gut with laughter.

The more songs we sang the more involvement from the crowd we got and I was getting a real thrill out of performing for such a crowd so much so that I knew one of the songs we must sing was “Waiting for Superman”
Lisa and Prudence gave me a huge thumbs up and I burst into the song.
The crowd erupted in cheers and during the chorus chimed right in with me. Suddenly the whole crowd was singing “Waiting for Superman”
I was so distracted I didn’t notice Zack Snyder exit his car with his wife Deb.

When I finished I glanced their way and Zach was clapping.
He met my eye and gave me a huge smile and thumbs up. I nodded with a smile as to say thank you for the approval.
Deb was the first to come greet us and she was so lovely it was hard to believe she was one of the people who’d made this movie happen.
Lisa told her about being Henry’s cougars at which point I piped up and said “Not me though, I am not old enough to be a cougar yet.”
Deb laughed.
I then said “I’m in training! Cougar in training.”
She laughed even harder.
We all took a photo with her then she began to make her way down the line of eager fans.
Zack came up to us and looked over to me and said “That’s a very powerful voice you have!”
“Thanks!” I smiled.
I stretched out my hand to shake his and looked at him with this stern look “I hope you didn’t mess up my Superhero!”
“What’s that?” He asked
“Superman is my favorite and let’s just say that last Superman movie was painful to watch! So I hope yours does him justice.”
“I hope so too! I really think you’re going to like it. At least I hope anyway.”
As he walked away he thanked me for entertaining the crowd and told me to never stop singing.
I felt this amazing feeling come over me I’d just been approved by a huge director and that was a special kind of feeling to take in.

Next up we met Michael Shannon who would be playing Zod in the film and man this guy was huge!
I looked up at him and felt so small. He is not an attractive man in fact he is quite scary looking so I can completely see why they cast him as Zod.
However scary he looked he was not at all mean towards any of us he was very sociable and kind and I had fun getting into a photo with him,

Russell Crowe refused to come anywhere near any of us which did surprise me one bit. I’d heard many horror stories about how rude he was towards people and who can forget his temper tantrums.
I looked over to Lisa and laughed well here’s to hoping they just keep him dead so he can’t return for a sequel. She started to laugh.

Half the people arriving I had no clue whom they were even the lady who was playing Faora I was clueless about.
Suddenly Lisa and Prudence were waving at an older gentleman and he gave them a thumbs up.
I turned to her and said “Who are you waving at?”
“Henry’s dad! Why are you not waving?”
“I don’t know him and to wave at him would imply I know him.” I stated laughing.
In that moment she was again reminded I was not a Henry fan like she was and she gave me this look like I had a lot to learn.

We spoke with Amy Adams for a little bit and she was so adorable in person and extremely friendly almost creepy friendly I thought. But in a very good way.

Then it happened the screams were almost deafening.
Henry was stepping out of his car onto the red carpet. He put an arm in the air and began to wave to everyone.
There were about 20 people before us in the line and he slowly began to make his way stopping once in awhile to wave to the other side.
He was signing and taking photos with all who asked.
Lisa was beginning to hyperventilate and giggle like she was 16 which made me laugh right out loud.
She had this pure innocence about her when it came to him and I suddenly felt left out. How was it an older women then myself still had such youth and I didn’t.
I started to feel old.
I had my good camera and was getting some amazing shots of Henry but one thing I notice was he was not smiling for any photos with fans. Not a real smile anyway. You know a toothy grin smile.
I leaned over to Lisa and said “He looks miserable!”
She looked confused at me. “Really? why do you say that?”
“He’s not smiling at all.”
I am not sure what I was expecting of him but if all these girls wanted me to like him he sure was not getting any brownie points at the moment.

As he approached Prudence she clutched his arm tight. That made me smile.
He took photos from people behind us and was signing them as he spoke with everyone.
I went to take a photo of him and Lisa together but they turned and I joked to her now she would be able to print out both front and back and paste them together for a full 3D photo.
This caused him to smirk slightly.
I was staring up to the huge Superman logo when I heard her ask him a question.
I burst out laughing “Did you just ask him what shampoo he uses?”
She laughed “Yes!”
“Inquiring minds want to know?” I said still laughing.
I then looked at him and asked “What type of toothpaste do you use?”
He looked at me and arched his eyebrow.
“I’m only kidding don’t respond to that I was just trying to get on the same ship as her” Pointing to Lisa.
He started to laugh.
“Whoa!” I said “It has a sense of humor!”
“It?” He said smiling.
“And it has a toothy grin too!”
“Now why am I suddenly an it?” He asked.
“I’m just teasing you dear you seem like your easy to bug.”
“I have a sense of humor really I do” He said smiling again.
“Sure sure!” I smiled.
Lisa looked over to me and said “So??”
“So what?” I asked.
“Well now that you have seen him up close what do you think?”
“You are going to ask me that right in front of him? He might not like what I say.”
“Are you mad?” She asked “Even up close you don’t think he is gorgeous?”
“He’s ok.”
Henry began to laugh
Prudence looked over to Henry and said “Don’t worry Henry we will convert her!”
He laughed even harder.
“Who was the one singing all day?” He asked
Then all the cougar girls all pointed at me.
“How the heck did you know about that?” I asked.
“Zack called my phone while you were singing Waiting for Superman; He said the whole crowd was going nuts and singing along with you.”
I took a bow “I aim to please” I winked at him.
“I bet your a hoot when you’re at the bar” He said.
I opened my purse and took out one of my business cards and slid it in his jacket pocket behind his handkerchief “If you’d ever like to find out.” I said smiling.
He gave me this “whoa” look and cocked his eyebrow again.
“Don’t give me that look” I snapped.
“What look?” He asked his eyes widening.
“That look that I am not good enough for you. Just because you’re on that side of the fence means nothing. You don’t know me from a hole in the ground. I could surprise you!”
Lisa’s mouth dropped, She couldn’t believe I had just handed him my number and said what I said.
He smiled again and began to walk away when Lisa yelled his name. She’d forgotten to get him to sign her book.
She pulled out her 50 shades of grey and had him sign it as he turned she looked at him and said “You’ll always be my 50!”
Again with that eyebrow raise.
I turned to her “And I am the weird one?” I laughed!
I took one last look at him and said “Don’t throw it out till I am not looking ok.” I winked and he smiled.
He had a very lovely smile but I was not going to say that to Lisa or Prudence I knew if I did I would never hear the end of it.

Lisa was all sorts of giggles “Didn’t he smell lush?”
Ok I was going to give her that one he DID actually smell really good.
He carried himself as much older than his 30 years and I had a feeling that was why so many older women found him so appealing.
I too was beginning to find him very appealing and I hated to admit it.

As we walked away a security guard ran towards us.
“Wait girls, Wait!” He yelled. “How many are with you?” He asked me
“6 of us in total” I said.
He went back to talk with someone then came back.
“OK I can’t sit you all together but your all going in.”
“Going in where?” Asked one of Lisa’s friends.
“To see Man Of Steel” He said smiling. “Zack thinks you’ve earned it so enjoy!”
And just like that the cougars and the cougar in training turned into a group of giggling idiots jumping and squealing like that guy who’d been behind us.
Holy crap we thought, We’re going in to watch it. We’re going to get to see it before anyone else.
This was better then what I’d had on my list. This was EPIC!


Converted – Chapter 1

Alarm sounds, Man it feels like I just went to sleep!
I slowly crawl my butt out of bed, wishing the sun would just go away and let me sleep peaceful for just one night.

I’d not been sleeping well the last few weeks my anxiety keeping me awake more often than I care to admit.
But each day I woke and mustered up enough energy to get myself to work.
Where’s work? Forever Fitness is my personally owned gym.
I started Forever Fitness after being diagnosed with a chronic pain disorder, they told me to forget the women I once was that she was gone. I told them I couldn’t go through life that way and set out to change not only how I seen my illness but how others seen it.
I became the poster girl for fitness “My disease does not define me, I will redefine my disease” was one of my many motivational posters that adorned the walls of our gym.

Growing up I was a HUGE Superman fan, Christopher Reeve was the man of my dreams. Not only because he was my favorite hero but because he was a real life hero as well.
So when I decided to get fit and get healthy and show these doctors that this disease would not make me weak that I was still my own superhero it was him I turned to for inspiration.
For 2 years I worked my ass off losing weight, gaining muscle and becoming stronger both physically and mentally.

In 2011 it was announced they would be making a new Superman movie I was devastated because let’s face it Superman Returns was painful to watch!
I mean I get what they were trying to achieve with that movie but really, you got Kevin Spacey to play Lex and you DON’T run with it? Nope and nope!
So I dared not look up anything to do with this “new” version.
I mean really? They were going to attempt it again? Did they not know NOTHING and NO ONE would ever replace Chris, not ever!

I am not sure when it was that I began hearing the ruffled feathers but I remember it being some time in 2012. Oh my heavens a “British” guy was playing Superman!
My thoughts “It’s called acting idiots! If he can do an American accent who cares! That’s like saying Johnny Depp should never again act because he’s done too many “British accent” movies!
So finally I decided to “Google” him.
When I first saw his picture he was curly cute and wearing a Superman t-shirt. I thought to myself, I have never in my life seen this guy before but he could fit.
Yes once again since Superman Returns I was letting my guard down and saying maybe, just maybe someone else could fill the boots.
Name Henry Cavill, now is that CA-VILL or CAV-VILLE? Hmm I wondered.
Filmography: whoa wait I own that movie, and that one, and those two as well! How is it that I own four movies this guy is in and do not remember him? You’re slipping Marie I thought to myself.
Maybe he just had small roles and that’s why I don’t remember.
The more I researched the movies I own the more I realized just how bad I had slipped I should have known this guy easy but just didn’t seem to place him.

I was a member of many Superman fan pages and the buzz was getting bigger and bigger the closer it came to its release date.
Leaked images from the set and of the suit were setting the internet a flame and suddenly I found myself intrigued.
So I began taking a peek and having my say among the many other fans.
When I first saw the leaked image of Henry Cavill on the oil rig with no shirt I was floored.
I said out loud “Who the heck you playing? Superman or the Incredible Hulk?”
The guy was massive and I realized he was going for the comic book looking Superman.
I was down with that as it was something that had never been done before.
The more I chatted around the pages the more excited I got for the movie.
I still was not convinced of Cavill’s ability to pull it off and I had my doubts about Zack’s direction as I was not a fan of his other movies.

It’s on the fan pages that I met Lisa. She was from England and was so proud that one of her very own home boys was playing her favorite superhero.
We began talking outside of the pages and realized we had a lot in common from kids to how we loved Superman to how we viewed the world.
It was obvious from the start we were going to be fast friends.
She was a HUGE Henry fan and when I told her I was really not into him like that she was shocked.
“You’ve seen him right?” She asked.
“Yes.” I said laughing.
“Ok so you’ve seen him and still nothing?”
“Oh he’s not bad looking I am just not into him like that.”
“Good Looking????” She said like it was the most awful thing she had heard.
“What?” I said.
“Henry Cavill is not merely good looking he is god like!” She said.
“OK I am not going that far.” I laughed.
“I am going to tell all my girls and we will convert you to a Cavillian if it’s the last we do!” She said.
I began laughing harder “Ok you can try and we will see.”

As we rolled into 2013 the fever surrounding the Man of Steel movie was picking up pace.
Teaser trailers had already begun to come out and from what little I was seeing at that point it looked like it was going to be something good to watch.
Lisa began introducing me to other members of what she referred to as “The Cavillry” I had a good laugh each time she introduced me to another who couldn’t believe I didn’t just LOVE Henry Cavill.
It was like I was the only women on the planet who didn’t see what they seen and that was not it I did in fact see what they saw I just wasn’t going to buy into it.
Maybe it was because I was still holding on to the memory of Christopher Reeve and that fear that this new version would again disappoint.
I was however excited and very willing to give Mr. Cavill every benefit of the doubt.

Around the end of February close to my birthday Lisa introduced me to Prudence they were talking about meeting up in London that June for the Man of Steel premier.
I have a bucket list not because I am dying but because I think everyone should have one call it a life list instead of all the things you want to do before you die.
One thing I always wanted to do was see a movie premier and I thought to myself what better premier to attend then Man of Steel.
The more I spoke with Lisa and Prudence the more I wanted to meet them in person.
They were both great for a laugh and we always had great conversations and debates.
I asked them if they would entertain the idea of me coming up in June to attend with them.
“That’s how we’ll do it Lisa” Prudence said.
“Do what?” Lisa asked.
“Once she SEE’S him in person she will no longer be able to deny it or hide it she will become a full fledged Cavill girl.”
I began to die with laughter. “You girls kill me!”
“Then maybe you should just come out of the closet now Marie!” Said Lisa.
“OK ok! Yes I can see all the handsome things you see in him, he is very attractive.”
“That’s all we’re going to get?” Prudence chimed.
“For now” I laughed.

I knew you when – Chapter 3

As I cooked dinner for all of us Corin asked about some of our prior rolls.
I joked that because I was Canadian there was not a lot to talk about regarding my roles.
Henry already had a big budget movie under his belt and it was his very first role ever in The Count of Monte Cristo. He went on to star in another movie Called Laguna but it had not been released.
He’d also done several television roles in England.
He was far more established then myself even though I had been doing it much longer than him.
I had up to this point only done television and commercials.
As we sat down to eat Henry asked “Should I get new head shots?”
“Why? What’s wrong with the ones you have now?” I asked.
“Well my hair is a lot longer now.”
“So” I laughed “At least they will know what you look like two different ways.”
Corin and him began to laugh “Good point I guess.”
We sat around for a couple hours and just talked about everything from movies to movies and even got around to sex.
I had to work early the next day so I Corin and Andy were sweet enough to let me have their bed for the night. I felt bad but I knew I would get no sleep with these boys up all night giggling like little girls.

The next day at work I politely asked the manager if they had another position available. He informed me they had two more slots they needed to fill one for my shift and one for the dinner shift.
On my break I called Henry and told him to get his ass down here to apply as a few others had already stopped in to inquire about the positions.
Within the hour Henry had arrived and was speaking with the manager.
The manager was so impressed by Henry he hired him on the spot I had to admit that made me slightly jealous however I was sure there might be a hidden agenda from the manager.
Henry ran over to me kissed my cheek “Thanks babe, I start tomorrow! Love you see you later today.”
“So glad you got the job and so quickly I might add! He likes you” I started to laugh.
“I don’t care if he likes me I got a job!” He smiled.
“Want me to pick up some beer on the way home?” I asked him.
“Yeah sounds good.” he kissed me again “See ya later.”

When I got home Henry was in the kitchen cooking.
“Something smells yummy, what are you making?”
“Pasta nothing special” He laughed. “Thought we should celebrate now that we having paying jobs.”
I busted out laughing “What shift did you take?”
“Same as you is that ok?”
“Yeah why wouldn’t it be?”
“Oh I don’t want you getting sick of seeing me all day every day.”
“Really? Do you think there is actually a person out there who would really get sick of looking at you?” I laughed.
“What are you saying Nika?” He smiled.
“Oh I don’t know” I said with a frowned brow “Only that you’re too fucking adorable!”
“And you’re not?” He asked.
“I am sure in this town you’re going to be the cuter one.” I laughed.
He laughed “I highly doubt that.”
We sat down and began to eat and I have to admit I didn’t think he could cook but he’d done a fine job making the pasta dinner.
“Where is Corin and Andy?” I asked.
“Oh yeah I forgot to tell you; they went to Corin’s mom’s for the weekend. They will be back Tuesday afternoon, so we have the place to ourselves for four days.”
“Oh wow that’s so awesome not to mention nice that they trusted us enough.”
“I think after what you did for them trust is the one thing they for sure have in you Nika.”
“Ok well what should we do then?”
“We should enjoy the weekend if we’re not working.” He said
“You just want another chance to use that fake ID of yours.” I laughed.
“Hey in England I am old enough ok.” He smiled.
“Yes I know and in Canada too!” I stuck my tongue out at him.
“Speaking of my age.” he said “What should I do for my birthday?”
“Oh yeah that’s like a month away.”
“Not even.”
“How will you be then? 29?” I laughed.
“Oh you’re funny.”
“Funny looking? Or funny like ha-ha?”
He busted out laughing “Looking for sure!”
I slapped his arm! “You ass!”
He continued to laugh as he got up from the table to clear it.
“I kid, I kid.”
“Your lucky I know that too!” I slapped his ass as he walked by.
He turned and winked at me. “I love you.” He said smiling.
“What was that for?” I asked with a puzzled look on my face.
“I’ve never been more comfortable around a women before in my life. You’re so laid back and relaxed and I can joke with you and be myself and I love that.”
I tilted my head to the side and a shy smile came over me. “Thanks Henry.”

We both worked the Friday and Saturday morning shift at the restaurant but had the Sunday off so we made plans to head out to a club the Saturday evening.
Our manager Jose began to tell Henry about a new club that was opening that night and how he should stop by.
Henry asked if he could bring me and Jose’s face suddenly changed.
“Is she your girlfriend?” He asked.
“Well she is a girl and yes she is my friend.” Henry said with a laugh.
Jose did not look amused.
Henry began to bite his lip. “I should get back to work.” he said as he walked away.
As he walked by me he gave me this holy crap bug eyed look.
I put my head down and chuckled to myself.

At the end of our shift Jose called Henry to the office I knew this was not going to be good.
When Henry walked out he had a stunned, dazed look on his face.
“What the hell happened?” I asked.
“He doesn’t like us working the same shift so I’ve been switched to the dinner shift.”
“What the hell!”
“Yeah sucks but at least I still have a job.” He laughed. “I thought for a moment there I was a goner!”
“Actually so did I.” I laughed.
When we got back to the apartment I pulled out some food for dinner.
“What are you making babe?” He asked.
I loved when he called me that I don’t think someone as attractive as him had ever called me that before heck I was sure someone as attractive as him had never even been interested in me before.
It’s not that I was un attractive I just had a really bad habit of leaning towards relationships I knew were destine to blow up in my face. It was nice to not see that when I looked at him. Yes I dared to think it; maybe Henry and I could be in a relationship but I wasn’t going to push it because even just having him in my life as a friend was going to be great.
“Pork Chops and rice.” I said.
“Sounds good to me.”
After dinner I went to the washroom and began to run the water for a shower.
Henry poked his head in as I was getting un dressed “Mind if I join you?”
I turned with a shocked look on my face. “Excuse me?”
“Sorry!” He said backing out.
“No wait!” I yelled laughing “You caught me off guard.”
“I just thought of that saying” He said “Save water, shower with a friend.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “If you want you can it’s not like I’ve not seen you naked before.”
Henry was a lot like me we both hated cloths in bed and we found that out very early on in our friendship.
Even though we’d slept naked together he’d never once attempted to touch me and that was the same way he treated me this time in the shower.
I adored him for that but at the same time I had to admit I would not have minded.

We had a blast that night at the bar and when we got back to the apartment we sat and had a couple more drinks that’s when he leaned in and kissed me.
It’s was not like we’d never kissed before so I naturally kissed him back.
He kissed me again but this time he lightly licked my bottom lip.
I was shocked and leaned back looking at him puzzled.
He came closer; he had puppy blue eyes. The soft sad pleading way he was looking at me was beginning to melt my heart.
He kisses me again and again licks my lip lightly this time I decide to reciprocate with my own tongue.
It all happened so quick one minute we were laughing on the couch having a drink, next we were kisses then we were in the room taking our close off getting into bed.
I suddenly became scared I was after all a few years older than him and for a brief moment I almost felt perverted.
I was laying on my side and he slid close to me and wrapped his arm around my waist.
I glanced up at him and he smiled.
We began to kiss again and he slid his hand over my hip, his touch was so gentle and his hands were so soft my skin quickly became bumpy from the shivers he was sending through me.
He climbed on top of me and looking into my eyes he quietly whispered “Can I make love to you?”
My whole body quivered as I gave him permission.

When I woke the next morning he was snuggled against my back with his arm wrapped firmly around my waist. I felt my heart flutter as I took a deep breath and sighed.
I was happy more happy then I had ever been.
I didn’t want to wake him so I closed my eyes and just listened to the sound of his breathing.
He had a slight snore which I was use too but never had it been so close to my ear before.
I felt a grin come over my face, it was ear to ear.
In that instant it was like he knew I was awake. He lifted his head from the pillow and looked down at me. I turned to meet his gaze with what probably looked like a dorky smile.
He kissed my cheek and nuzzled into my neck.
“Would you like some breakfast?” I asked.
“In a moment. Let’s just lay here a bit longer.”
We snuggled back together and just laid there in silence listening to each other’s breaths.
I was falling in love and it was driving me mad. I could NOT be falling in love with a nearly 20 year old!

May 5th came around quickly and Henry was eager to celebrate his 20th birthday with everyone.
He was however becoming quite home sick.
We’d both taken the day off work and we were also still un packing from our mid April move into our own apartment. It was a small tiny fish bowl but it was ours and we could dress it up however we wished we could do whatever we wanted and no one would or could say anything.
As we unpacked what little we had the phone rang.
I grabbed it “Hello?”
“Oh hello, Would Henry be available?” A women asked.
“Yes just one moment.” I said handing the phone to Henry.
It was his mother and she had called to wish him a happy birthday and ask how the apartment was.
He’d not told her he was living with a woman yet and I was un easy about his little deceit.
I looked over to see his face so sad it was clear he really missed his mother and family members specially at this time.
I walked by and ran my hand through his hair to let him know I was here for him. He looked up and smiled.

That night we walked down to Corin and Andy’s place to grab them for Henry’s birthday night out. Rick and a few others were meeting us at the club and as we normally did we would hop between all of our favorite places and likely end the night at our new place with everyone crashing with us.

We had never spent so much time on the dance floor then we did this night.
At every bar we were at someone would buy Henry a drink including women which I won’t deny made me slightly jealous. I really had no right to be either we’d never officially said we were anything more than roommates, friends, lovers.
However Henry was always able to read me quite well and knew each time a women approached him that I would get just that more upset.
Corin would hug me each time and whisper in my ear “Hun he’s with you don’t get too worried.”
When Henry and I moved in together I’d never actually thought of how it would all play out if we were not dating and decided to date other people how would that work in our one bedroom fishbowl?

Our final stop of the night was at club DBA it was one of our favorite spots in West Hollywood to go and dance.
Henry walked up to me and gave me a hug.
“You know we’ve been here just over two months and still neither of us have gotten a bite.”
I looked at him and smile. “Henry tonight is your birthday lets enjoy it and worry about getting acting jobs tomorrow ok?”
“OK ok” He laughed “Let’s dance”
I always had to chuckle when he would dance because in spite of all his good looks and talents he for the life of him had no groove what so ever.
I liked to tease him calling his dance moves the shake and jerk.
He would laugh and say “Well at least I am dancing!”
He always knew how to have a good time and managed to always put smiles on everyone faces.

We ended the night and headed home.
The group of us loud and bubbly as we walked down the street.
There was no mistaking us when we all got together you could hear us for miles.
A couple of times we’d even had people shout out their windows for us to shut up.
Tonight however no one yelled at us and we even got a couple hoots and hollers from other groups of people walking down the street.
As we all filled our fishbowl I’d become extremely tired.
I leaned to Henry and told him I was going to head to bed. I kissed him on his cheek and wished him one last Happy Birthday.
He got up and walked me to our bedroom and turned me towards him.
He leaned in and kissed me. “Love you Nika”
“Love you too Henners”
“I’ll be joining you soon” He said “See you in a bit.”

The next morning I woke to the phone ringing and a hangover.
I leaned over Henry to reach the phone.
It was Henry’s agent.
“HENRY!” I smacked his chest “Henry!”
He jumped “Yeah? Yeah?”
“It’s your agent” I said handing him the phone.
You could see he too was clearly hung over but he handled the call like a pro.
He jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom quickly turning on the shower.
“You going to tell me what’s going on?” I asked as I followed him.
“I have an audition in two hours.”
“Oh my god that’s amazing Henry!” I said hugging him.
“Yeah I am excited. It’s not a huge budget movie but it’s a movie none the less.”
“You’ll get it! I have faith in you.”
He laughed and jumped into the shower. “Hope your right. Can you start coffee?”
“Yep! I’m on it.”

He was gone for what felt like forever but when he finally returned he had a smile on his face so I knew things had gone well.
“It was for a horror movie.” He said.
“Ooh cool! Do you get killed?” I laughed
“Not sure.” He laughed “But I think things went well so I might have a job!”
I was very excited for him but wished that I too had an acting gig.

The next day he received the call, He’d gotten the part and would begin filming right here in L.A. in a couple months.
That night we went out after work to celebrate him getting the job.
Everyone was very happy for Henry and you could see that even though it might not have been the ideal job he’d wanted he was working doing what he loved to do and that pleased him.

As we lay in bed that night he shifted to his side to face me.
“Don’t worry babe, It will happen for you too”
“Oh I know.” I said smiling “Just wish it would happen sooner rather than later.”
“Just don’t give up ok?” He said.
“Oh you know me I won’t!”

The next afternoon the phone rang and this time it was my agent.
She was calling to tell me she’d gotten me an audition for a small part in a movie and the audition was the next day at 11am.
I was so thrilled I began dancing around the room before I even let her go.
She could hear the excitement in my voice and reminded me that it was a rather small part.
I however didn’t care I was going to be working and that was the biggest excitement for me.
When Henry came in I was still dancing around and right away he knew.
“When’s your audition?” He asked.
“Tomorrow at 11.”
“Told you!” He winked. “Shall we go out tonight?”
“Sorry can’t I had to switch shifts so I could go to the audition tomorrow so I’m working”
“Oh ok, we can always go out tomorrow.” He smiled.
“Yep!” I said as I continued to dance.
I grabbed his hands and made him dance with me. He began to laugh.
“You silly girl!”
“Silly? Why am I silly?”
“Because I said you are.” He laughed.
“Ok fine, I will be silly it’s better than stupid.”
We both began to laugh.

It took a week for my agent to finally call me back after my audition but I got the part.
I turned to Henry and said “Yes I got it! Not sure how well I am going to like it but I got it!”
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“I have a pretty intense sex scene I have to do and I have never done one before.”
“Just relax and try not to think about it too much.” He suggested. “What movie?”
I began to laugh “Hellraiser 8, Can you believe they have made 7 of these already?”
“Wait what did you say?” He asked.
“Hellraiser.” I repeated.
“Whoa Nika! I got a part in Hellraiser too!”
“Yes way! and two of my scenes are sex scenes!”
“You don’t think?” I said
“Oh man would that not be funny!” He laughed.

That week our scripts were delivered to us to begin going over and sure enough as we poured over our scenes we realized that we were in fact about to do sex scenes with one another.
As I looked over my whole part I noticed I did not have one actual line.
“I don’t fucking say anything!” I grumbled. “I’m nothing more than tit and ass.”
Henry lowered his head with a sad look on his face. “I’m sorry sweetheart.”
“It’s not your fault.” I said “Guess the writer needs it to sell it.”
Just then Henry began to laugh “Not sure if we should practice our scenes or if we already have enough practice to just go right into it.”
I laughed out loud. “Should we tell the director we’ve slept together?”
“No maybe just that we know one another.” He said.
“Yeah that might be for the best.”

One month later Henry began to film Hellraiser 8 – Hellworld.
Three and a half weeks after he began I showed up to begin filming my scene.
This was going to be very interesting I thought to myself.

I knew you when – Chapter 2

The days seem to drag by so slowly and our only two days in LA had felt like two months with no bites for a job for either of us.
I’d become very un easy with our landlord Chris and felt better when Henry and I were not actually in the house.

Finally on day four I had enough I broke down in tears and slumped onto my bed.
Henry knocked lightly at the door. “You ok?”
I told him he could come in I turned my back from him and continued to sob.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“Chris is really freaking me out Henry, I swear he poked his head into the shower the other day when I was showering and I think he comes in here at night while I sleep. He’s always staring at me with this creep grin on his face.”
“Why did you not tell me Nika?”
“Because I can’t prove it, I thought maybe I was just being silly. You know being away from home and all. I’ve not showered in two days.”
Henry walked to my side of the bed and sat next to me. “Go shower now Nika I will stay here and make sure your not being watched.”
I glanced up to him my eyes blurry from the tears. “Thank you Henry.” I said as I hugged him.
I stepped into the shower and Henry parked his butt right in front of the bathroom door, we chatted about what we should do while I got cleaned up and he decided for the remainder of the week he would bunk with me or I with him till we could find some other place to stay.

Henry had packed up his bags and was moving them to my room when Chris walked through the door.
“What are you doing?” He asked Henry.
“Nika and I have decided we’re going to share a room so you can feel free to rent the 2nd one out again but don’t worry you can keep both our money for the rooms.”
“I don’t think so” Chris snapped “I said no couples when you applied to live here.”
“We’re not a couple mate, we’re friends and Nika is feeling really home sick and she feels better when I am around.”
“To bad! If you two are going to stay here you need to be in separate rooms.”
This made Henry furious and he snapped at Chris. “Listen mate, I know you been watching Nika. Creeping on her. So here’s the deal we will be out by Monday morning when our money for the week is up but until then I am staying in her room with her and if you come near her again I’ll call the police.”
“Fine” Chris snarled “Monday morning get your asses out of here.”
“No worries, we’ll be gone.” Henry said as he shut my door.

That weekend we’d decided to hit the town and try to meet some new people there was so much to do and see in Los Angeles it could become a bit too much at times. But in the same breath taking it all in made you feel like wow you were finally trying to hit the big time and you couldn’t help but smile.
The allure of Hollywood I could totally understand, there is something magnetic about this city even with all its flaws you couldn’t help but feel like you were important living there.

It was about 1am Friday night when Henry and I left yet another bar, we were pub crawling getting to know more of the locals in and around the area we were living.
We’d decided to hit one more spot before calling it a night when out of the corner of my eye I saw a group of young guys being cornered by a much larger guy and his buddy.
They were both spouting off at the mouth and the group of younger guys just kept telling them they didn’t want any trouble.
I stopped dead in my tracks and began to listen and that’s when I heard it. They were being targeted because they were gay.
I slowly took off my heals and ran across the street before Henry even had the chance to say or do anything.
“Nika? What are you doing???” He yelled after me.
I stepped in front of the tiniest member of their group an adorable blonde with the biggest blue eyes I had ever seen.
“Is there a problem here?” I asked. As Henry joined me at my side.
“Oh look a girl is coming to your rescue.” Said Mr. Smug.
“I don’t see this as boy verses girl I see it as smart verses stupid, Guess which you are?” I said.
He stepped forward as if to shove me I raised my heel to his face.
“You know the one thing I like about the US is that you have very decent self defense laws. I can hurt you and hurt you bad and walk away scot free because you Mr. Stupid are being aggressive and are putting me and my friends in danger.”
He stood there looking at me with a very dumb look on his face. He was trashed and was too trashed to think or put a sentence together properly and was out trying to prove he was some type of man.
I looked at him and said “Just so you know I am a boxer who is proficient in martial arts and if I want I could upper cut you and break your jaw how manly would you feel then?”
Henry looked at me like I was crazy.
The young guys were also trying to back me slowly away from them.
“I said don’t hate them because they are gay they can’t help they are more of a man then you will ever be. They can’t help more women would rather be with them then a meat head like yourself. Don’t hate them cause they are more beautiful then you. Just walk away and have a pissing contest somewhere else.
Henry’s mouth dropped he couldn’t believe what I was doing. “He’s going to hit you” Henry whispered.
“Don’t worry, no he won’t. He will walk away with his tail between his legs as I just busted his ego.”
And just like that the two of them turned around spit on the ground, called me a fucking bitch and walked away.
I smiled “See, told ya!”
I turned to the group and said “Not all straight people are assholes like that; real sorry you got caught up in that type of bullshit.”

The group hugged me “Thank you” they all chimed
“Your our real life superhero now!” said the adorable blonde.
I began to laugh. “Nope no hero just a person who hates people who spread hate like that.”
“I’m Corin” Said the blonde as he stuck out his hand.
“Nice to meet you I said. I’m Tonika and this fella right here is my Henners.”
“I’m Rick” said the next one as we shook hands “And this is Andy”
We all stood around and talked for a little while longer before deciding to hit another pub that was in the area. So off the five of us went Corin and I began to skip down the street and the other guys were having a laugh at us.

Over drinks I began to tell Corin what had been happening in our apartment and how Henry and I were looking for a new place to stay.
“I don’t have much but if you guys need a few extra days to find a place you can crash with us.”
“With you and who?” I asked.
“Andy is my boyfriend and we have a one bedroom apartment, nothing much but it’s a roof.”
“Wow.” I said “Thank you so much! We might have to take you up on that offer.”

That Monday we packed up and left while Chris was still at work we headed down to meet up with Corin who was sweet enough to be allowing us to stay with him till we found somewhere new.
Henry was going to give me the couch while he slept on the floor and for some reason I just couldn’t allow all that beautiful boy to sleep on a floor it just didn’t feel right.
So our first night there I made him climb up onto the couch with me and we snuggled up and watched a bit of TV before heading to sleep. We both had long days the next day he had an audition and I had a real job interview.

My job interview went well and I really hoped I would get the job I was running out of money fast and I didn’t get something I might have to pack up and go home.
I sat there waiting for the phone to ring I am not sure why I thought they would call me that day I guess I just hoped they would.
I wondered how Henry was doing in his audition it wasn’t for anything big but when you need money you do what work comes your way.
He walked in with a smile on his face.
“Did you get it?” I said jumping up.
“I don’t know yet but I think things went well, How’d your interview go?”
“I think it went well just waiting for a call.”
“So looks like we both had a good day!”
“Yes it does” I smiled.

It was not till the next day that each of us received calls.
Mine was the first to come in and I got the job and was to start the day after.
I was so excited, finally would have more money coming in.
Later the call from Henry’s agent came in and I saw that look all of us actors are very familiar with. The “I didn’t get the part” look.
I walked up behind him and hugged him he swung his arm backwards to wrap around me.
He hung up the phone and turned him to me. “Don’t worry Hen you will get one soon.” I said.
He smiled. He has the most magnificent smile I had ever seen gorgeous large teeth with perfect pouted lips in the shape of an M surrounding them.
He leaned down and kissed me. “Thank you for being with me Nika, it’s nice not being alone.”
I kissed him back and hugged him tighter. He was right it was nice not being alone. Having him with me made it all seem so much easier.
“Think your restaurant might need some more help?” He asked.
“I’ll ask tomorrow when I go in for my shift.”
“Thanks” He said as he squeezed me tight. “Let’s eat I am starving!”
I laughed as we walked to the kitchen to begin dinner.

I Knew you when – Chapter 1

I knew you before all the money, before the glitz and glamour, before everyone knew your name.
I knew you before the tabloids and before you were the envy of every man and the dream of every girl.
I knew you back then and it feels like a life time ago. Both of us struggling to get by doing what we needed to do to stay afloat.

However I am getting ahead of myself. In order for you to understand how we got here I must first introduce myself and then take you back to the beginning.

My name is Tonika Croft an aspiring actor from Ontario Canada.
I began acting at the age of 6 in Canadian commercials and I have to say as a child I was quite the snot to others when it regarded my work.
I was however an actor and they were merely just little people.
It was not until puberty hit and the zits began to pop out that I realized how hard getting and acting job really was. Its one thing to be a cute and adorable little girl but to be that funny looking zit faced teen was a whole other ball game.
Suddenly I found myself back with the little people not getting any jobs.
This went on for years till finally at 21 I scored a small role on a Canadian television show.
It was one episode but I didn’t care I was going to take it!
Over the next few years the rolls trickled in but not really enough to keep a roof over my head so I began re thinking everything. Did I really want an acting career? Did I really feel I had what it took to make it in an industry that was so complex? To each question I asked myself I responded with a yes.
This is when I knew it was time to head to L.A.

It was now 2003 and I had just turned 23 and finally had saved up enough money to head to L.A.
I had no idea where I was going to stay or what I was going to do when I got there but I knew in my heart it was the right step to make. So I boarded the bus for the long haul there and kept my fingers crossed the whole time.

Once I arrive I felt a sudden fear like what the hell was I thinking? I had no place to stay and didn’t know a single soul in this town yet here I was fresh off the bus trying to make a real go out of my career choice.

Ok Ton first things first. Find yourself a place to stay!
I’d had researched online a few places I could go to seek shelter so with my note pad in hand I headed to the first destination and this is now the beginning of my tale.
A tale a friendship, love, devotion, aspiration and hard work.

As I stood there looking through all the listings I found it so overwhelming.
It seemed like everyone had a place to stay in L.A. but not many in my price range.
Just then I heard “Excuse me.”
I turned to look and there stood the most adorable young man I had ever seen.
His hair dark and curly and his eyes almost crystal blue.
“Sorry” I said as I stepped out of the way.
“Oh you didn’t need to move, I’m sorry.”
“That’s ok.” I smiled.
Then he smiled and he lit up like the fourth of July.
“Looking for a place to stay?” He asked.
“Yeah, just got into town and don’t know anyone.”
“Me either” he said. “Is this your first time in L.A.?”
“Yep, You?”
“Yeah me too, long way from home but I saved every penny to get here.”
“Actor aren’t you?” I laughed
“Wasn’t till you said what you said about money, I know because I did the same thing.”
“Seen anything worthwhile?” He asked.
“Yeah probably, but I am too scared to actual call any of them.” I laughed.
“I’m Henry by the way, pleasure to meet you.”
“Tonika, but you can call me Ton, Toni or Nika I respond to all.”
“Have to say I kind of like the sounds of Nika.” He said smiling.

As we poured over board I think we both began to feel a little overwhelmed when finally we were both staring at the same ad.
A guy had two rooms to rent weekly and needed them filled right away.
Henry and I looked at one another and nodded.
I pulled out my cell phone and gave the number a call. I explained there were two of us both looking for a place to stay while we searched for work.
The gentlemen asked if we had money to pay for rent and I replied we had.
He asked if we would like to come over and see the rooms, I looked over to Henry who gave me a nod and told him we’d be over within the hour.

When we arrive at the house our eyes widened.
“Wow nice place eh?” I said.
“It looks fantastic!”
I knocked on the door and the guy answered.
“Hi my name is Tonika we spoke on the phone.”
“Hey I’m Chris, come on in.”
Even the inside looked nice and I was happy that we might just be living in something that was half decent.
Chris laid out the rules very clearly regarding everything from laundry days to cleaning and what he expected of each of us.
We were also told there were to be no parties what so ever unless it was one he planned.
I was fine with all this I am sure Henry and I were going to be too busy looking for work to be partying any time soon.
We signed the contract he gave us and handed him a week’s rent.
Henry was sweet and allowed me to have the room with the larger bed.
“I’m from a family of five boys I am use to smaller.” He laughed.
“What?” I gasped “Five boys??”
“Yep I have four brothers.”
“Holy! Your mom must be a superhero!”
“Yeah she is one amazing women putting up with us over the years but she kept us in line not one of us would ever disrespect her.”
“Oh a mama’s boy aren’t you?”
“I think all of us are in our own ways.” He laughed. “Our dad was the strict one.”
“My dad never really cared about me so I am not familiar with that.”
“Oh really? I’m sorry.” He said. “My dad’s a military man so it’s now built right into his very being to continue the traditions he learned there.”
“Not sure I would ever want to be raised by a military man! I have heard stories.”
“It’s not that bad!” He laughed.

We parted ways and went to our rooms to un pack.
This was it I was here and I was going to give it everything I had to make it.
I was determined!
Suddenly I felt a little un nerved.
When I turned I saw Chris standing at my door just staring at me.
I smiled.
“Is the room ok?” he asked.
“It’s perfect” I said. “Thanks.”
He stood there for a couple more seconds watching me and I began to get creped out.
Finally he walked away.

As I sat down on the bed I sighed it was happening so fast and I felt like I had to keep that same pace. Like if I didn’t have a job by tomorrow it was all going to fall apart on me.
I heard a knock at the door.
“Come on in.”
“Hey” Henry said. “Want to go shopping for some food?”
“Ok that sounds like a plan! I was not even here for a moment and already getting stir crazy.” I laughed.
We grabbed out wallets and headed out the door when Chris stopped us.
“Where you headed?” He asked.
“Going to get some groceries” I said.
“Oh cool” he said staring at me.
“Talk with you later” Henry said.
He watched us walk out.
“I think he has a thing for you Nika.”
“Don’t say that! I caught him staring at me while I was un packing it was freaking me out.”
“Don’t worry I won’t let him hurt you, Promise”
I looked up at him and something in me knew he was not lying that he would in fact protect me.
This handsome 19 year old was going to be my protector yet I somehow felt protective of him.
This was going to be very interesting!